For a little more than a week, I've been having bouts of depression. I've mistaken being on social media as being engaged in life. I've "witnessed" so much joy in social media posts that it sometimes makes my bouts of depression worse.
During this pandemic in which we find ourselves, many of us have turned to social media to be connected with others--especially those who live alone (and, who may be an empty nester like myself) and who sometimes have to make extra efforts to be with family and friends.
Although I’m not going to reference any studies, I will bet my bottom dollar that the majority of posts on social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snap Chat, etc.) are posts of pleasure, celebrations, achievements--in essence what brings us joy and makes us feel alive.
Nothing is wrong with these posts of joy but don't let it be your sole perspective of life.
Our encounters of discontent, humiliation, failure--in essence what brings us to a place of desolation and makes us feel pain--on social media are infrequent and rare.
Yet, I will posit that we must encounter both the joy and pains of life in amounts deep enough for us to recognize when we find ourselves in either state of being. Equally significant, because social media is a platform that is far reaching and profoundly accessible to the masses, it’s paramount that social media be a place where the reality of life can be witnessed and shared if social media is to be a vehicle to build a holistic life physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and financially.
My current bout of depression, I believe, has been an awakening to me--and, will be hopefully to others.
Over three decades ago, I was diagnosed with mild depression. At first, I sought therapy in terms of counseling. For about a year, the counseling had a positive impact on the severity and frequency of my depression. I seemingly felt better and thus I quit going to counseling.
After some failed relationships over the years (partly due to my depression), I returned to counseling--yet, the cycle of me feeling better because of counseling and then quitting it continued like a broken wheel.
A little over a decade ago, I began taking an anti-depressant medication which I thought was going to be the magic bullet. The cycle of being in and out of counseling continued--yet, I must have had such optimism towards this magic bullet that it had a psychosomatic effect on me. I experienced about a 6 month absence of feeling depressed. After 6-months, my bouts of depression would be more severe and frequent. Symptoms included sleeping for hours on end and loneliness that felt inescapable.
It was dark. I seemed to be in a never ending tunnel with not one glimmer of light ahead.
I can’t remember when, how, or why I saw the light but the important thing is that I did see light. The light was my realization that my treatment for my depression could not consist of TALK therapy alone or MEDICAL therapy alone. It had to contain both simultaneously with a frequency and depth that had to be unique to me like a finely tailored Italian suit.
I can only speak about my experience of depression: Seeking out both TALK therapy & MED therapy has been the most successful treatment for my mild depression.
If you know me, you know I am a person who attempts to project joy, optimism, and a positive attitude. Yes, for those of you who truly know me, you know the dark episodes I have gone through (and, thanks to you, I have navigated out and away from those dark places). Yet, the reality of our lives--both the good and bad, both the joy and pain, and both the pleasure and discontent--should be shared with others so those who struggle do not struggle alone with a false sense that their mental illness is uncommon.
Struggling alone--especially with mental illness--should not be done alone nor should it be minimized in our society.
When we see someone in a dark place (and, are in a position to help), then is the time to help.
When we ourselves are in a place of darkness and desolation, then is the time to seek help from "someone".
That "someone" must know us intimately and know our story--in essence, although it’s a cliché, that "someone" is like the Lord in the Footprints In The Sand prayer in which the Lord is willing to not only walk with us but carry us.
Seek someone to be a Lord in your life.
My own recent pain, darkness, and depression can be attributed to a combination of factors---physical, professional, personal, and spiritual--that have coalesced into pushing me into that long dark tunnel. However, with the wisdom of my vast experience of failures, I am now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel after about a week of being in the dark.
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